Friday, April 08, 2011

Broken Leg Survival Guide (The First Part)

Hints,tips and observations for not going insane (or arse up)


Just as a quick back story, we are doing some earthworks in our backyard, and there is a little slope/rampy thing from the back yard.  Unfortunately with the addition of gumnuts and some inattention, it becomes quite the launch pad!
So here – in no particular order are my thoughts so far:

1. Always have a shower as soon as you get up in the morning.  You never know when you’re going to get the next one!!

2.  Never spend so much money on jeans that you won’t cheerfully mind cutting up the side of them to get them off/over your plaster.

3.  Maintain ambulance cover, either through your health fund or your local ambulance service (for Adelaide folk, SA Ambulance).  As with any type of insurance, you’re in front if you never use it – and waaaaay ahead if you do!!

4.   Always catch up with friends on your day off.  Having my very bestie in the world arrive 10 minutes after I stacked it was a godsend on so many levels.

5.  We don’t pay aforementioned ambos enough.  Before calling them, we contemplating getting my into BFF’s Getz (NOT) or even the Subaru.  Ugly.

6.  Previously mentioned ambos have this really cool little green whistle.  Not only does in numb the pain of the fracture, but also numbs the embarrassment of less than pristine lounge room!!

7.  You cannot buy already referenced little green whistles in party packs! (Shame)

8.  The hotness of your attending RMO is directly proportionate to your degree of dishevelment. (See Item #1).

9.  Make sure the nurse has taken your blood pressure before arrival of cute doctor. Failure to do so may effect readings and lead to misdiagnosis!

9a.  Always do what the doctors/nurses/physios tell you.  They mostly know what they’re talking about, sometimes even through personal experience.  Right Bill?

10. When the physio is measuring you up for crutches, leave the 3/4 of an inch off your height.  Crutches that are too long lead to sore armpits at the same time as sore legs!!

11.  Have children. (Or significant other/doting parent).  The children are so used to you telling them what to do that they don’t even notice when it stretches to … “may I have a drink please, can you grab my phone, can you pass me that stool, could you put the kettle on, what’s for breakfast?”

12.  Always remember to thank people at #11 profusely.

13.  Don’t be in a hurry to get ANYWHERE on crutches.

14. Invest in a shoulder bag for mobile/cordless phones/cigarettes and lighter/book, so that when you do finally plonk down – you’ve got everything you need.

15.  Don’t drink too much coffee. 

16.  Crutches are very useful for lifting toilet seat lids.

17.  Do not have a massively busy week planned for work.  /sigh

18.  Make sure your kids have a spare bunk in their room for Daddy!!

Okay – that’ll do for the meantime – more to follow I’m sure.

Please feel free to add your own experiences/hints/suggestions in the comments!!

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